Got a toothbrush?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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