The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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