im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
