she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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