She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
