He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
