so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
PANTIES FOUND
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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