just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
