2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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