Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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