These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize