it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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