My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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