dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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