I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
