god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
