who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize