The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize