My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
