Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
