She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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