I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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