I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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