I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize