you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
