Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
