Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
