no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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