i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
