She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
