You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize