my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
