she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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