doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
