I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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