I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
