to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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