I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
