Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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