It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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