I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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