it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
