Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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