is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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