I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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