My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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