bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
