Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
