I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
