New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
