Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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