you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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