i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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