did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize