We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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