who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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