i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
