he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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