Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
