I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Still dying that you shit outside
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
