just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Your penis caused this!
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