Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize